Brick House

I miss something i never knew.

I hang onto previous occasions and set camps on their midst on my own. I am a traveller , i travel far and wide, inside my head . Most of the times , i hit my feet with sharp rocks and pieces of shattered glass i usually find lying dead down the floor. Sometimes I get to meet people as well , and they often scrutinize me with my another deadly adventure yet. They mock me with glistening eyes and crystal gazes , as the band marches down the yellow river where i lost a piece of my soul and a piece of my tranquility. I fall down , oh yes , im a very clumsy little girl who tends to hurt herself due to unnecessary vulnerability . I get scratches from here and there , blood pouring out of open wounds like a waterfall in the middle of Sahara.

I usually pick dust in my eyes too , specially whenever i open my eyes too wide to gaze upon the wonder of something. Oftentimes , I catch myself slack-jawed in amazement , specially if it were fireworks or the Orion – or the birds that simply guide their flocks in a place that only them knows.

I travelled far and wide , without a surefire destination.

I am too tired to walk so i looked for a mean of transportation that will make it easier for me to wander around. I found it and boy , wasn’t it fast. So fast that it took my breath away , and i think , somewhere , sometime, while i was coaching and traveling using that vehicle , i dropped a piece of my brain somewhere along the way. Since then , i thought of things in a different way , in a different perspective.

The travel was long and exhausting , i was never fulfilled. People has desires and once you give it to them , they have another desire laid out. It’s an endless list of desires so i chose to stick with what i have. I don’t want to desire anymore , or to want anything anymore . I may not have enough , but i felt like i can live with it until i die.

I decided to give my dead-tired body a rest.

Perhaps it was his eyes. Or his smile – or no , his innocence that took me away . It made me shiver in a good way and once again , i had this desire. I thought , maybe this is a beginning of something wonderful. He never once criticized me – or counted the times i fell down and how many times i have to try to make up for the things i have lost. He never once asked me why – or how – or why. He never once questioned my ridiculous decisions , or my way of doing things. He has always been behind me but never beside me. I always stare from a distance , fall in love from a distance. I build bridges to fill in the gap , the literal gap that separates us – while he builds a home using bricks and stones – he knows how much i need safety , he must’ve noticed the bruises on my face and the wounds in my hand. It matters to me , yes it does a lot. I dream of him while turning starlight skies into Wonderland. I dream of him and dream of his dreams to build our dreams.

I know i have said that i am missing something i never knew. I didn’t say im missing something i will never know.

I am tired of travelling and at this very moment i want a resting place. Inside the brick house he built – by the fire he made – with the soup he cooked – with the water he purified. It is always me to him , as he to me. And someday , when all the chaos is done , i will walk through the bridge i built to get to him – no matter how loud the creaks might be ; or how fragile the palm woods are. I found my destination when i found him.

And we are going to runaway from all this exhaustion one day.