Coffee Chocolates and Cakes

I couldn’t sleep at all.

I have been tossing and turning for the last 2 hours. And for some reason i just couldn’t bring myself to sleep. All i do is stare at the ceiling , rotate , stare at the ceiling again , then rotate again (repeat till fade~) . I wanna at least give myself a break from thinking too much , cause my brain seemed to have reached its capacity. It is lagging a lot at the moment , like, 3 seconds delay after my senses sensed something.

Red lights are on! Well, the lights are on most of the time but nobody’s home. I usually find myself wandering around fantasy island , ( aw nah , not dirty fantasy island) , walking on a beach in my dreams and when people shake me to snap me back to reality , i usually look like an idiot who got lost in a moment.

Me : huh?

Them : hmm?

Me : yah!

Them : what yah?

Me : dunno? nvm i guess? o_O?

I haven;t been myself in the past few days. It’s weird , i seemed to have lost the thin line that separates good weird and bad weird now , so basically , i can’t really say if it’s good weird or bad weird , maybe i can put some shape into it and just call it , “weird weird” if that makes any sense in any way.

I failed to read the signs ( AW OMG I KEPT ON WRITING “SINGS” INSTEAD OF “SIGNS!”) , warning labels are scattered on the floor and i bypassed them all. In fact , i just graced through them while singing la la la la. I really didn’t mind them , because i was pretty confident that i will be fine. All of these are temporary anyway. Nothing in this world is temporary , even TATTOOS that they say are temporary is a victim of false advertisement. Try ironing it. It will become a kelloid and the tatoo will be barely visible, simply because the retarded kelloid already covered it and i don’t know what brought the tattoo in this topic.

COFFEE can make you HYPER.and CHOCOLATE. and CAKES.

Or maybe cause i am always trying to shake off some things in my head , just so i can focus on something. I keep on shaking it off, not because i don’t want it , but because if i continue thinking about it , i might fly and seriously, it will freak people out. I am on a no-gravity zone at the moment and i can feel myself floating in mid-air – because i am thinking about it again. The door is open wide and the cold wind is touching my face and messing up my bed. I think of random things just to be able to survive everyday – even if that means trying out coffee.

And no , it’s not a bad thing at all . In fact, the thing that i am trying to shake off during normal hours (hours that i am supposed to be normal) are actually the things that gets me going. They are the things that motivates me , although the problem with me is , I am not Da Vinci , not both sides of my brain works , i guess the only part that is working properly is the right hemisphere.  My point is , i think too much about it that it ends up eating my brain , hence giving me lesser space to think of other things. That’s why i need coffee.

Or wait – is it really coffee that i need?

I can drink all the coffee i want in this world and it can never fulfill the hollow space that i am feeling . It can just make me hyper , work fast but not think fast (i have no idea how that works)  , it can distract me and it can make me stay awake and count sheeps at night. Or no , not sheep cause i haven’t seen a real sheep , cause , well there are no sheeps (aw, is the plural of sheep , sheeps? im sorry, i really don’t know) here at all. AND SHEEP! Reminds me of him again.  Sheep..~

Tomorrow i am going to wake up, think of him , go to work , think of him , drink coffee , distract myself , and when office hours are done , get in a bus , think of him while im on my way home , get out of the bus , think of him while walking , eat , think of him , change clothes , think of him , lay in bed..and think of him the whole night and then..go back into being restless, a.k.a. not being able to sleep.

Oh well , i guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You can be pissed cause roses have thorns – or rejoice cause thorns have roses. My perspective is nice though – a day will come when i won’t be able to sleep – cause we will be having fun all night long. And im going back to tossing and turning now.