Sleep Tight While I kiss You

The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I can’t sleep
I need to tell you

 

Goodnight

 

Words , words , words.  Do you actually think words will run out one day? I do thought of that too.

Right now , i see you lying beside me. Too good to be true, but yes, you are right here with me. If this is just a part of a solitary occurrence ,  then , i may be fortunate enough to have such.  You know what? I never had the chance to say goodnight to you. I never had a chance to say goodnight , that is why i kissed you on the forehead , while you were sleeping. Luckily , you didn’t notice , cause if you did , you might wake up and kiss me back – i don’t want to wake you up this early. All i want is to stare at you while i write something about you – about me – and how you changed my life.

 When we’re together, I feel perfect
When I’m pulled away from you, I fall apart

 

Almost everybody tells me that i am the tough one. They say that i have this capability of solving problems at a given amount of time – that i am smart and that i have everything. I have never thought of myself that way , though. I know little things. I know some things that an ordinary person would think it rather odd , or weird and other sorts. My almost eccentricity is not that conspicuous at all , not before you came.

So there you were , staring at me blankly between crossroads. I want to give up , i almost want to. I almost ran away , I almost died. I was weak then. I was weak without you. I was nothing.

 

All you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue
I can’t look away

Your eyes are not blue. I know so well , because i stare at it all the time , and i would give everything to stare through your eyes forever. Stigmatized and captivated by those eyes that never fail to remind of how beautiful i am – and what more I can be. I have never felt anything like this before , i have never felt so happy for 3 years straight. I have never been in love until you came.

You carried hope with you. You carried it along the way and give me some each time i lose one. You , if i may say , really are my angel.

 

As we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me

Amy, marry me
Promise you’ll stay with me
Oh you don’t have to ask me
You know you’re all that I live for
You know I’d die just to hold you
Stay with you

 

 My name is not amy. But you really did tell me that. You did tell me that you don’t want to lose me while we were sitting in the SM Megamall staircase, remember? We were so busy watching buses and cars while we talk about our lives. We have no money back then. We were saving the money we have left in our pockets for marlboro’s and candies.

You said , i have to go home. I told you that i have a great feeling that i am going to die when i commute home. You were concerned and asked , “sa tingin mo ba may mangyayari talaga ngayon?”. I said yes , so you stayed with me , rather than going home.

Until now, i still am not telling you what i meant when i said that something bad is going to  happen.  Until now , you still live to the thought that, i was feeling that i might get caught up in an accident or something. It was not what i meant.

I was afraid i will not be able to see you again after that day. I was afraid i might not be able to talk to you again , that is why i want you to spend the night with me , sitting and chasing cars with our eyes. I was so afraid to lose you. I have said this a million times before – i would die for you.

Now that you asked for my hand in marriage , I learned that life can be beautiful sometimes. It’s true that you don’t have to ask me. I will stay with you , with or without rings and contracts. I really don’t care bout that.

 

Somehow I’ll show you
That you are my night sky
I’ve always been right behind you
Now I’ll always be right beside you

It was difficult way back then , right? We keep on running and gasping for air because someone followed us , or saw us. We gasp for breath and then laugh because , we lost them and there is another number added in the list of victory. We eloped and lived in a small room, full of rodents that eats raw noodles , we sleep on a bed that looks like , a corpse bed because it was so worn out , remember?  We would laugh at disasters. We would just laugh it off.

Now is a bit complicated and a bit hard. We will be staying together for real , and surely , there will be ups and downs. I must admit that sometimes,  I almost give up. We still haven’t completed our quest for dreams but i am still hoping that together , we will live to see that day.

 

So many nights I cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me, I love myself
I never thought I would say this
I never thought there’d be
You

 If i am going to count the times that you taught me things , i don’t think my words will be enough. You taught me that i should first learn to love myself before others could learn to love me. You taught me that life isn’t just about this or that , but rather doing rare stuffs and not doing the routine as always.

I am not going to tell you i love you – i am not going to tell you how important you are to me – because i already showed you.

    now continue to dream while i embrace you ever so gently. Continue to dream while i cry , because i dont know the reason behind all of these – the reason why i feel for you this much after all these years of laughing , arguing and compromising.

oh, now i remember – when i asked you why do you love me – i remember your answer..

“there is no reason why – or else it’s not love anymore.i just love you.period.”